Friday Review: Paradox

Paradox, for the uninitiated, is Auntie Beeb's latest off-the-wall time travelling Mancunian cop show. Sort of. The paradox is, in fact, that despite being utterly rubbish in any way that matters, Paradox is great telly.

Much has been said about the stereotypical nature of the main characters: the tough, career focused female Inspector; the rebellious, sceptical-unless-it-suits-him-not-to-be one (who just happens to have been sharing the Inspector’s bed to boot); the Christian one who, obviously, is prepared to believe anything he can vaguely attribute to God; the mad scientist of the slightly sinister, wouldn’t-like-to-meet-him-in-a-castle-dungeon variety; and of course the usual cast of extras headed inexorably toward the unfortunate demise our heroes can see coming. So I won’t dwell on them any longer.

More interesting is the Paradox, that which our heroes are called upon to believe, whether they like it or not. Essentially, some entity or mechanism is sending images of a crime to the mad scientist a few hours before it occurs. Our heroes have to figure out what the images represent, and from that where and how the incident occurs in time to, hopefully, stop it. All of which is of course as ludicrous as it sounds, but surprisingly good edge of the seat telly if you’re prepared to ignore the bit of your brain that says ‘that wouldn’t happen’. And since we’re all sci-fi fans here, that part of our brain is pretty much permanently bypassed anyway.

On the other hand, if you do stop and think about it – and it seems the writer has, at least briefly – there is plenty of existential philosophising to be done. For instance, the rebellious, sceptical one, having discovered that he should have died in episode two, is given to wonder whether, given that there are an infinite number of him in all these parallel universes, it matters a dingo's kidney what he does here, and proceeds to become more rebellious and reckless.
Meanwhile the Christian one first has his faith challenged, then decides that God is giving him a message through the images and turns into a slightly sinister and stalkery guardian angel.
Apart from such philosophical meanderings - and the more obvious questions of who and where these images are coming from, not to mention how and why - two things occur to me which may come as close to being the point of this ramble as anything.

First, the images from the future are snapshots, glimpses, not the whole story, but enough to guide our heroes in the right direction, provided they can interpret them correctly and quickly enough. All of which parallels the kind of vague-but-obvious-with-hindsight way that we so often perceive God as using to communicate with us. (Well, that could just be me, but still, that’s the point I’m going to leave for more theologically inclined bloggers to dissect.)

The second thing that occurs to me (and I’m sure has occurred to many working in the Christian fiction field) is what if, rather than a mad scientist, these images were received by a religious nutter? A street corner prophet manages to foretell a gruesome murder on his patch, for instance? How would the authorities react if they head about this? What would become of the prophet? In fact, throwing prophecy in to any kind of time travel related scenario give it a little spiritual twist which, followed up in a suitably unusual way, could end up in some good Christian sci-fi.

And with that, the blog seems to have finally returned to its intended course…

Final NaNoWriMo report...

I actually got that at about 2.30 on Saturday morning... for some reason, at bedtime 4,000 words just didn't seem that much, so I kept going...

Now I have to catch up with real life before I can write a more detailed post about the Nano experience...

NaNoWriDayTwentyFour

The 30,000 word mark passed today. That means I'm only 6 days behind. Hmmmm.

On top of which, I had to reboot the whole novel at the weekend when it suddenly occurred to me who my characters should have been all along, how they met, and why they would, in the revision process, become funny. Obviously one of them is a character who, for reasons as yet unexplained, believes that the entire universe has been created by a supreme being known mysteriously as 'The Author', who, for reasons ineffable, has to make the important sections of the life of his creation tellable in tales of at least 50,000 words, and this slightly eccentric belief causes him, on occasion, to break the fourth wall or speak in unnecessarily long and complicated sentences, not unlike the writing style this blog entry has adopted. You know you're a NaNite when your blog posts are twice as long as they need to be...

And speaking of unnecessarily long things, I managed to force a single sentence up to 100 words today, for no other reason than that of word count. The entire sentence is unnecessary, as are the ones either side of it, so enjoy it here, it won't make the revisions:

I mean, eight years ferrying incontinent old fools to and from the seaside, a semi competent restoration at the end of it, augmented by some heavy pimping and the addition of more 1980s computer hardware than Knight Rider would have been enough for even the hardiest product of the Rootes Group and its successors, but this poor example, not only had it been nick named, rather ruthlessly, The Ambivalence (a humourous reference to its prior calling in life), but it had then been thrown unwillingly into some kind of parallel dimension, not to mention twenty five years back in time.

NaNoWriMo: a license to write really, really badly.

CSFF Blog Tour: Curse of the Spider King

Despite not being on the list, and despite having a novel to finish (still languishing at 20,000 words), I thought it might be fun to join the Tour again. Or rather, to have the characters from my NaNo, DragonQuest, give their brief thoughts on Curse of the Spider King. So here they are, in approximate order of importance:

Ken Brown says:

Spider King? Sounds like fantasy. Look, there's a castle on the cover. Prophecies, elves... Can’t bear elves. Sounds like a fantasy novel to me. I hate fantasy.

Unlike me, Ken has good reason for hating fantasy, which is revealed in the pages of DragonQuest.

Dexy says:

THIS NOVEL CONSISTS OF 384 PAGES. I DO NOT CURRENTLY HAVE ACCESS TO SUFFICIENT MEMORY TO PROPERLY ANALYSE A WORK OF THIS LENGTH.

Charlotte Myles says:

Ugh! Spider!

George Franklin says:

Fantasy. Mystery. Action. Humor. Parents, teachers, and librarians will no longer have to push kids to read – The Berinfell Prophecies will engage intermediate readers and leave them clamoring for more.

But I think he may have cheated and just looked at the blurb on amazon.

Rod Serling says:

Hopper and Batson: two men lost. They shared a common dream – to create a world where creepy crawlies may achieve a better, richer and happier life; live the American dream; maybe even become as kings. And fate, a laughing fate, a practical jokester with a smile that stretched across the stars, saw to it that they got their wish, with just one reservation; the wish came true, but only in the Twilight Zone…

Eleanor Rigby says:

The Magical Mystery Tour is waiting to take you away.

Donita K Paul says:

What am I doing in your NaNo?

I think part of you must have been absorbed by osmosis when I nicked your title. Don't worry, you haven't appeared in it (yet), but I'm sure you're lurking in the background, making sure I don't tarnish your work's reputation too much...

The Magical Mystery Tour - sorry, the CSFF Blog Tour - continues unabated here:
Brandon Barr Justin Boyer Amy Browning Valerie Comer Amy Cruson CSFF Blog Tour Stacey Dale D. G. D. Davidson Shane Deal Jeff Draper Emmalyn Edwards April Erwin Karina Fabian Todd Michael Greene Ryan Heart Timothy Hicks Becky Jesse Cris Jesse Jason Joyner Julie Carol Keen Krystine Kercher Tina Kulesa Melissa Lockcuff Rebecca LuElla Miller Mirtika Nissa John W. Otte Donita K Paul Cara Powers Chawna Schroeder James Somers Speculative Faith Robert Treskillard Fred Warren Jason Waguespac Phyllis Wheeler Jill Williamson KM Wilsher

CSFF Blog Tour vs Tuesday Tunes

This month the CSFF Blog Tour is looking at The Curse of the Spider King by Christopher Hopper and Wayne Thomas Batson.

And, as it's Tuesday... it is, of course, time for the Top Ten Spider Songs, chosen at great personal expense by a friendly arachnophobic:

10. Barenaked Ladies: Spider In My Room
There are surprisingly few well known songs about spiders. Well, there's the Spiderman theme, and Incy Wincy Spider, but we needn't sink that low when there are obscure album tracks like this one to start off with.
9. The Mission: Spider And The Fly
It wouldn't be a Spidery Top Ten without some nice goth rock now, would it?
8. Hawkwind: Web Weaver
I may have mentioned before that I like Hawkwind's brand of psychadelic space rock. This is from the brilliantly titled album Hall of the Mountain Grill.
7. Cylob: Spider Report
Time for a change of pace, and today's dose of electronica, which has R2-D2 on guest vocals. Probably.
6. The Who: Boris The Spider
Apparently this as Jimi Hendrix's favourite Who song. It must be true, it's on the internet.
5. Alice Cooper: I am the Spider
He's not The Spider, he's a very naughty boy.
4. David Bowie: Glass Spider
WARNING: Contains extreme weirdness.
3. Mogwai: Black Spider
Mmmmm, mellow. It's from a film about a French footballer you know.
2. Brian Eno: Spider And I
Before and After Science was Eno's last (loosely) rock album before becoming the Godfather of Ambient, and it's a brilliant album. Spider and I is the last track, and nicely foreshadows some of his ambient work. I recommend a listen to the whole album.
1. Primal Scream: Insect Royalty
OK, I know spiders aren't insects, but the extra two legs make them like royalty to all the ants and such. But it was too close not to top the charts, especially as the album, XTRMNTR, is one of the Scream's best efforts.

Now while you're listening to that little lot, it's time to continue the tour:
Brandon Barr Justin Boyer Amy Browning Valerie Comer Amy Cruson CSFF Blog Tour Stacey Dale D. G. D. Davidson Shane Deal Jeff Draper Emmalyn Edwards April Erwin Karina Fabian Todd Michael Greene Ryan Heart Timothy Hicks Becky Jesse Cris Jesse Jason Joyner Julie Carol Keen Krystine Kercher Tina Kulesa Melissa Lockcuff Rebecca LuElla Miller Mirtika Nissa John W. Otte Cara Powers Chawna Schroeder James Somers Speculative Faith Robert Treskillard Fred Warren Jason Waguespac Phyllis Wheeler Jill Williamson KM Wilsher

NaNoWriMo vs CSFF Blog Tour

This is a terrible week. I’m lagging behind in the production of a comic fantasy novel that is, currently, neither comic nor fantastic, and suddenly I have to drop everything and write a review of a finished novel, which may be one or both of those things. I’ve missed a couple of blog tours lately, and because Christopher Hopper is such a nice bloke (not so sure about Wayne Thomas Batson. I suspect he may be the slightly sinister member of the team. Possibly a super villain in disguise or something) I didn’t want to miss this one. Actually, I've just realised I'm not on the list, but what the heck, I'm wearing shoes, I'm sure they'll let me in.

So naturally, to keep the word count up, I will probably have to give one of my characters the task of writing an introductory blog on the subject. From a ZX81. In the back of a Dodge Spacevan. In Herne Hill. In 1984.

And that blog would probably say something like: This week the Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy Blog Tour (word count is everything, remember!) is featuring The Curse of the Spider King, book one of The Berinfall Prophecies by Wayne Thomas Batson and Christopher Hopper. Being, as it is, a young adult fantasy novel, The Curse of the Spider King is bound to have plenty of both humour and fantasy, two things sadly lacking in my life right now, and probably lots of action, plucky teenage heroes and heroesses, epic battles between good and evil on which the fate of the world depends, and some elves. It wouldn’t be a huge leap of logic to assume that there are spiders of some sort in there as well, possibly led by some kind of monarch.

What do you mean, it sounds like I haven’t read it? Of course I haven’t read it, I’ve been too busy working on DragonQuest (a NaNovel) to read, well, anything, really. Lucky for you then, that there is a whole blog tour dedicated to The Curse of the Spider King this week, most of which has probably been written from the 21st Century. By people who have at least read some of the book. There’s the signpost up ahead, you’re next stop…

Brandon Barr
Justin Boyer
Amy Browning
Valerie Comer
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Stacey Dale
D. G. D. Davidson
Shane Deal
Jeff Draper
Emmalyn Edwards
April Erwin
Karina Fabian
Todd Michael Greene
Ryan Heart
Timothy Hicks
Becky Jesse
Cris Jesse
Jason Joyner
Julie
Carol Keen
Krystine Kercher
Tina Kulesa
Melissa Lockcuff
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Mirtika
Nissa
John W. Otte
Cara Powers
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Speculative Faith
Robert Treskillard
Fred Warren
Jason Waguespac
Phyllis Wheeler
Jill Williamson
KM Wilsher

NaNoWriWeekTwo

Week Two has been a bit of a bust. I did pass the 25% mark a week ago, but then Monday was a zero word day due to Her Babyship having a spontaneous nose bleed that just wouldn’t quit until we arrived at the hospital...
And the next few days were a bit slow, with an expected interruption at the weekend but even after spell this afternoon I have only reached 15,000 words...
Things, it seems, could be going better.

NaNoWriDaySeven

When I was going to stop this evening, it was so close to the 10k mark, that I just had to push on. The last few days have been slow, largely due to them being work days, but I managed to pull a 2000 word day today, so I'm not too far behind. I still need to be topping 1700 a day, but that's not so bad.

It is, unfortunately, depressingly bad. The plot is incoherent, the cast is completely wrong, the jokes are missing in action, and the whole thing sucks on several other levels. I managed to drag 2000 words out today by hammering an old idea, involving Rod Serling from out of the Twilight Zone, into more or less the right shape to fit my NaNo story. Still, there should be some comic potential there if I can ever bring myself to edit this rubbish.

NaNoProMo

I'm over a day behind target now. But that's ok, because I've struck upon a brilliant idea: have a half price sale at www.stevetrower.co.uk, and spend valuable writing time packing books and running to and from the Post Office!

So, for the duration of NaNoWriMo (aka November), you can pick up a copy of Countless as the Stars for £4.50 including UK p&p, or £6.99 including worldwide p&p.

Stock up for Christmas. Please, if I don't need to keep going out to buy Jiffy bags I will be forced to continue writing the utter drivel that is DragonQuest....

NaNoWriDayThree

I thought it was going to be a disaster.

I thought I was getting off to such an abysmal slow start that there would be no coming back.

But, incredibly, it picked up. Late at night on November 1st I got some kind of inspiration and started banging words out. At a quarter to midnight I got Chapter One finished, at a length of 1,666 words. (NaNites will realise the significance of that immediately; for anyone else, the clue is that I'm aiming to write 50,000 words in 30 days.)

Day two went off similarly well, such that I am now a few dozen words ahead of target, and only marginally more sleep-deprived than I otherwise would have been.

There is, however, a problem. This much is inevitable. The problem is one I knew I would come up against: my comic novel isn't funny. Still, I think it's a fun premise, and hopefully once I get to know my characters and figure out where the plot should be going, I'll be able to edit the funny in later.

Re-booting...

I'm never sure how to restart this thing after an unplanned hiatus. I feel like I should apologise for my absence or something....

Well actually, this time I should apologise for completely missing the memo on the CSFF blog tour last week. Oops! Technical difficulties again...

I'm not sure this is a good idea, but I figured I would reopen the blog this week so it's ready and waiting for my loyal reader to get my NaNoWriMo updates during November.

On the subject of which, in celebration I have just posted my 2008 (winning!) NaNo effort on my website, in all it's original, unedited NaNo glory. Honestly, it's not representative of my complete and edited work!

Much more NaNoWriMo goodness to follow over the next few weeks....

CSFF Blog Tour: The Vanishing Sculptor

Ok, ok, I know what you’re all thinking: it’s another fantasy novel, so the sci-fi geek has gone AWOL again… Well, I promise you, it’s not like that. I’ve been unwell. I’ve got a note from my mum and everything.

Which is a shame, because it means I haven't been able to make bad puns like 'The Vanishing Sculp-Tour', or joke about my Vanishing Review. Or create a (now 'traditional') Top Ten, although I could easily refer you to the Top Ten Dragon Songs from the July '08 Tour if I was feeling lazy (which I am - I've been unwell, remember).

No, seriously, there’s been a lot of Dragon Flu going around these parts, and it’s really unpleasant. The turning scaly I can just about live with, but the flaming cough is a killer. I mean, the other day I was settling down in my sick bed with a Lemsip and a review copy of The Vanishing Sculptor by Donita K Paul, when I sneezed and incinerated the thing. No word of a lie.

So, sadly, no in depth review here. Try these bloggers instead:
Brandon Barr
Jim Black
Justin Boyer
Rachel Briard
Karri Compton
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Stacey Dale
D. G. D. Davidson
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Karina Fabian
Linda Gilmore
Todd Michael Greene
Katie Hart
Ryan Heart
Becky Jesse
Cris Jesse
Jason Joyner
Julie
Carol Keen
Krystine Kercher
Dawn King
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Mirtika
Eve Nielsen
Nissa
John W. Otte
Lyn Perry
Crista Richey
Cheryl Russell
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Speculative Faith
Rachel Starr Thomson
Robert Treskillard
Steve Trower
Fred Warren
Dona Watson
Phyllis Wheeler
Elizabeth Williams
KM Wilsher

Mr Penumbra's Twenty-Four-Hour Bookshop

I have much I want to say about this that I don't think I'm going to have the time or energy to say right now, so I'll leave you a recommendation until I do:

Read this, or, if you prefer, listen to it on Escape Pod. It's funny, it's weird, it's sci-fi, it's fantasy, it's topical, and it has Google in it. More thoughts on it later in the week.

Blog Quote of the Week

We interrupt your regular scheduled blogging because this quote just tickled me a lot:

The film could have easily made its point about a sexually driven culture without contributing to one.

From Paeter Frandsen's review of Gamer. It sounds even better on his podcast!

I want one...

August 29th was the 25th Annual Awards Ceremony for the L. Ron Hubbard Writers of the Future Contest, and I've been listening to interviews with winners on The Sofanauts and Adventures in Sci-Fi Publishing podcasts, and I want to go to that award ceremony!

OK, there is a possibility that the whole affair is masterminded by high-ranking Scientologists, and just a plot to brainwash some unsuspecting sci-fi writers, but I guess I'll worry about that when I win. In the meantime, it's something (theoretically) achievable to aim for... I have, after all, been writing short stories lately, although they fall some way short of the contest's 17,000 word maximum (like 16,000 words short).

More to the point, two of the authors getting awards last week, Mike Wood (Risqueman) and C L Holland (The Reflection of Memory), achieved second place on the first time of entering the contest. And both are British. Obviously the hottest new talent is on this side of the Atlantic, so I must be in with a chance of doing the same.

Trust me, my logic is flawless. My writing, on the other hand, could probably use some more work...

What is the matrix?

It’s been 10 years since we found out what the matrix is. And yet, despite being one of the few movies I can watch repeatedly, it has warranted barely a passing mention on this blog.

Part of the reason for this is that The Matrix trilogy is so chock full of religious and philosophical references that I could be blogging about it for the next ten years if I really put some effort into it.

Now, regular readers will know that I don’t really believe in putting effort into blogging, but it seems about as good a time as any to make some reference to everybody’s favourite cyberpunk movie.

I don’t think I hate the sequels as much as some people, but they do seem somewhat superfluous in many ways. For me, the key thing about The Matrix was the concept, the false reality, the matrix as the world that is pulled over our eyes. The first movie deals with this so well that the sequels were always going to compare badly.

But I don’t need to review the thing, you’ve seen it – more than once if you enjoyed it. And you know all about Neo’s messianic pretentions, about Morpheus paving the way for him and Cyber betraying him. You’ve wondered whether to read anything into Trinity’s name, not to mention Zion or Nebuchadnezzer.

Actually, now I remember why I haven’t blogged about The Matrix before…

(cartoon from The Ongoing Adventures of ASBO Jesus)

The Matrix Trilogy is now also available on Blu-Ray, for those more hi-tech than me.

We now return you to your regular scheduled blogging....

Yes, we're back in writing mode after all the Mini fun of the summer, and, yes, preparing for National Novel Writing Month already!

Last year's semi-serious attempt at an Old Testament Space Opera was mostly rubbish, but provided some useful plot points for further development and I have been tinkering with the running order and trimming the completely extraneous bits to produce something that might be edited into a reasonable story. The NaNo draft, however, did descend into utter silliness at times, but I have come up with the ideal solution to this.

This year I'm planning to start silly, and stay silly. I've said before that it's not going to be easy to remain funny for 30 days and 50,000 words (even for me), but it's got to be worth a try.

So, coming this November, straight from my WIPlist, will be DragonQuest, a comic fantasy based in the needlessly geeky world of 8-bit computers. Whether this quest is headed up by Milton Keynes, Miner Willy, or some other as yet uncreated character, is my first piece of prep work.

Before that, however, I want to polish the Christmas Carol homage I started in March, in the hope of releasing it into the wild in December. So watch this space...

Phursday Photos: Mini varieties

If I had time I would have found 57 varieties of Mini (I'm sure there are many more than that around!) but here's a smaller selection of the different shapes and sizes (OK, not much variety in sizes!) to have appeared over the last 50 years...

Accidental Legend

A few weeks ago I mentioned that it has been 10 years since I became a published writer, and made a vague threat to reproduce that first article here. I'm not going to do that, because it was very specialised and likely only to further alienate the fans of Christian spec-fic who are often disappointed by my coverage of the topic at the best of times...

Instead, here's another little piece I wrote, a potted history of the Mini, which is 50 today!

Accidental legend

When Leonard Lord, chairman of the British Motor Corporation, asked Alec Issigonis to come up with an alternative to the bubblecars that became popular after the 1956 Suez crisis, he expected a practical family car in as small and economical a package as possible.

What he got was a revolution.

Sketching on the backs of envelopes, paper napkins, and at one point a restaurant tablecloth, Issigonis designed the car we now know as the Mini. To keep the car within his target length of ten feet the engine had to be turned sideways, driving the front wheels directly, with the gearbox in the oil sump. This layout is common in modern cars, but was unheard of in the 1950s.

The engine was turned sideways

Everything about the new car was small, from the barely practical boot and tiny ten-inch wheels to the development budget. The developers couldn't even afford to have the cars built on jigs, giving rise to the characteristic external seams. To cut costs further, the 948cc A-series engine, used in the Morris Minor since 1956, was used as a stopgap, although Issigonis declared this too powerful and had the engine size reduced to 848cc before launch. He also had the car made two inches wider, the net result of which was a reduction in top speed from around 90mph to 72mph.

An early Austin Mini

In this form the Austin Seven and Morris Mini-Minor were launched to the public on 26 August 1959. Internal space was maximised by fitting sliding front windows and a pull string door release, and the combined speedometer and fuel gauge sat in the centre of a full width parcel shelf. The seats were designed to keep the driver alert; for the same reason no provision was made for a radio - even later models had these slung under the parcel shelf by the passenger's knees. Such luxuries as carpets were only available on the De Luxe model.

By the 1970s the interior comforts had improved, but not by much...

As the first British small car launched after the Suez crisis, the Mini was expected to take the biggest slice of this new market. However, despite being priced at £496 - its nearest rival, the Ford Anglia, cost almost £100 more - the Mini was not an instant success. Much of the buying public considered it either too revolutionary or too cheap. Those who did try the early models found faults that had been missed in the rush to launch the car - the floor leaked, and because of the positioning of the distributor inside the grille, the engine would splutter to a halt in heavy rain.

However, the Mini was quick, and one of Issigonis' friends immediately saw the sporting potential of its low centre of gravity and wheel at each corner design. Had John Cooper not liked the car, the story of the Mini would have been entirely different.

Mini Cooper 35th Anniversary edition from 1996

Issigonis disapproved of the idea of a tuned Mini, so Cooper went straight to the new BMC chairman, George Harriman, and convinced him. A trial run of 997cc Mini Coopers began production in July 1961. At the time John Cooper was best known as Formula One World Champion racing car constructor of 1959 and 1960, but when the initial 1,000 cars sold within a week, Cooper's link with the Mini was cemented.

Minis had been rallied since the beginning, but with the Mini Cooper it gained enough competition successes to warrant further development, and when the Mini Cooper S was launched in 1963 even Issigonis was keen. The Cooper S quickly became the definitive Mini, and has remained so ever since. Between 1965 and 1967, having already earned a reputation as a giant killer, an army of works Coopers took twenty-two overall victories in European motorsport events.

The 1967 Monte Carlo winning Cooper S

Meanwhile, back in Swinging London, the Mini became an essential fashion accessory. Eighty public figures had been lent Minis by BMC to evaluate in the year following the launch, in an attempt to boost the slow initial sales. As a result the car was seen at major social and political events throughout that year - and the celebrities loved it.

Peter Sellers gave the trend for personalising the Mini a kick-start when he came up with the wickerwork side panels seen on his Mini in A Shot In The Dark. Later he took the concept a step further, when Rolls Royce coachbuilders Hooper fitted his Mini with a lifting tailgate - an idea later used by Ringo Starr to accommodate his drum kit. With coachbuilders specialising in luxurious Minis, and pop stars and royalty enthusiastic owners, the Mini had become the classless icon of the sixties.

A 1960's Mini hatchback

There was a Mini to suit all tastes and pockets - the Mini and Cooper were joined by van and pick-up variants, and the more practical Austin Countryman and Morris Traveller estate cars. The army rejected the Mini Moke, which went on to become a popular fun car, made famous in the TV series The Prisoner. There were also the up-market Wolseley Hornet and Riley Elf, with extended boots, traditional style grilles and interior luxuries including leather seats and wood veneer dashboards.

The completely frill-free Mini Moke

Most of these Mini variants were discontinued in 1969, as British Leyland took over BMC. The Countryman and Traveller were superseded by the less charismatic Clubman Estate, and the Mini Cooper was replaced by the Clubman based 1275GT, although the Cooper S stayed in production until 1971. Its glory days were over, but more Minis were sold in the 1970s than any other decade.

Apologies to Yoda for the 'less charismatic' comment - it was 6 years before we met!

Nonetheless, the Mini's planned replacement, the Metro, was launched in 1980 - and although Mini sales halved that year, shared components between the two cars and the Metro's more efficient production line meant the Mini continued to be viable - even after Metro production ceased.

Forty-one years and 5½ million Minis later, though much refined, the classic Mini shape remained unchanged when the last one rolled out of Longbridge; the external seams were still present, as was the A-series engine, evolved into a 1275cc fuel injected version.

The official 'last of line' Mini

The late Sir Alec Issigonis once said: "My car will still be in fashion after I've gone." From the number and sheer variety of Minis at the recent Mini 50 celebration in Longbridge, it's easy to see how right he was.

This article is (C) Steve Trower, and first appeared in Best of British, some time in 1999. All photographs by Steve Trower.

Tuesday Tunes: Mini Week

There were a couple of ways I could have approached this Top Ten. I could have gone the generic motoring songs route (Driving In My Car by Madness, for example); I could have played cheesy word play games (I Want That Min by Debbie Harry); or I could have picked some really obscure Mini references (British Racing Green being both a popular Mini colour and a sublime piece of pop songery by Black Box Recorder). However, it turns out that if you look deep enough into the obscure, foreign and just plain daft corners of popular music, there are at least 10 more directly Mini related songs. So here are a few:

10. Stavangerensemblet: Morris Mini
I have to put this at the bottom of the Top Ten because I’ve never heard it, and it may well be rubbish. It is certainly Norwegian however, and has a good title.
9. Antonelli: Mini Cooper
Not quite sure what this little electroloungepop number has to do with the greatest car of all time, but it’s pleasant enough, and has a good title.
8. Richie Kavanagh: Courtin' In A Mini Car
It’s cheeky, but it’s kinda fun.
7. Christian Fischer & DJ Murphy: Mini Monster
Keeping up the traditional 7 minutes of electronica per top ten.
6. Echo and the Bunnymen: Rust
Echo and the Bunnymen, denizens of the dark side of 80s pop, wrote this tribute to the Mini for it’s 40th birthday. Probably.
5. The Sisters of Mercy: 1959
Spooky ethereal goth music is ideal for anyone who owns a black Mini named after Death’s horse.
4. Horace Andy: Mini Mini
I have a suspicion that the Mini Horace Andy loves to see young girls in is not one designed by Alec Issigonis, but the song works either way.
3. They Might Be Giants: Seven
OK, so one slightly obscure Mini reference slipped in (the Mini was launched as the Austin Seven, for the uneducated), but I could resist the sheer insanity of this track.
2. Corduroy: Mini
Finally, a song which was actually about the car, released around the time of the Mini’s 35th birthday, publicised at the event and with an actual Mini!
1. Quincy Jones/Don Black: Get a Bloomin' Move On!
Sorry Corduroy, but there’s no topping this as the ultimate Mini song, better known as The Self Preservation Society, or 'that one off The Italian Job'. Get yer skates on mate...

It's Mini Week!

On August 26th, 1959, two brand new cars were officially launched into a completely unsuspecting public: the Austin Seven, and the Morris Mini-Minor. These cars soon became affectionately known as the Mini - and the rest, as they say...

So this week, because I'm just a little bit partial to the world's favourite small car, I'm going to forget all about spaceships and time travel, and have some self-indulgent Mini wibble instead.

Christianity and science fiction will be back on the menu next week, but do feel free to drop by for a Mini-flavoured version of whatever normally happens here...

CSFF Blog Tour: Something Else by Robin Parrish

It occurs to me that, as Offworld by Robin Parrish is a science fiction book, I might be expected to contribute something a little more relevant to this tour than a list of obscure pop songs.

But it is an important and popular fact that we do things differently here, and as my offering of relevance I therefore present a review of something entirely different: Merciless, by Robin Parrish.

Merciless is volume three of the Dominion Trilogy; my reviews of the earlier volumes Relentless and Fearless can be pretty much summed up as ‘flawed page-turners’.

And it has to be said that Merciless pretty much follows in the same mould. That’s not to say it’s a bad book – on the contrary, Robin Parrish is undoubtedly good at what he does, which is Hollywood blockbuster on the printed page. The action in Merciless is even bigger and faster than in the earlier books, the stakes are global, the climactic battle huge, and the journey to it a great ride.

However, the flaws remain, and from a writer’s perspective, this book looked a little like it was edited on a Friday afternoon. Some sentences have no place in a professionally published book. Like:

They could do nothing but watch as the hole grew in size, first to the dimensions of a fist, and eventually bigger and bigger until it was half the mass of a man.

And then there’s the car chase. The car chase with a complete absence of internal logic, even as car chases go: one minute our heroes car can’t outrun a garbage truck, but the next chapter, having been bashed about a bit by said garbage truck, can ‘accelerate with the best of them’, and keep pace with a Mustang. Garbage trucks in the US must be a lot different than the humble British bin lorry, that’s all I can say.

But despite its flaws, Merciless is overall an enjoyable novel in the ‘superhero gone bad’ mould, in which our band of Ringwearers are pitched against ubervillain Oblivion (try saying that when you’ve had a few beers), a mysterious civilisation descended from Cain (yes, that’s right, an actual Bible reference, right at the end of the book!), and an army of superzombies. Add to that the fact that time is on the blink and planet Earth is rapidly turning into DarkWorld in preparation for all kinds of supernatural nastiness, and you have a pretty action packed 400 pages. In between times a few confusing loose ends about Grant Borrows and his origin are tied up, and Grant himself manages to have a spiritual epiphany, albeit one without any overt Christian influence.

Flawed, but fun, and I suppose this last volume leaves space for discussion between Christian and non-Christian readers of the trilogy.

CSFF Blog Tour vs Tuesday Tunes

This month the CSFF Blog Tour is Offworld with Robin Parrish, having returned from Mars to find everybody has vanished, and since we've done those two, you will be relieved not to have to sit through another dubious Top Ten.

At least, you would, but Ms Miller seems to like them, and that's good enough for me. So here it is, your Top Ten Astronaut Songs:

10. Duran Duran: Astronaut
It's Duran Duran, but from 2004. I know, it sounds like science-fiction...
9. The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band: I'm The Urban Spaceman
If you haven't encountered the Bonzo's, well, the name should give you an idea of what to expect.
8. Snow Patrol: I Am An Astronaut
I'll be checking out this album - a compilation of childrens songs written and performed by decent bands. Follow the link if you have kids!
7. Babylon Zoo: Spaceman
Those Levi's people have a lot to answer for - one-hit wonders like this for a start...
6. The Killers: Spaceman
Not a Babylon Zoo cover, thankfully.
5. Röyksopp: In Space
This one has turned out to be quite electronica heavy, the first slice coming from Norway...
4. Kraftwerk: Spacelab
...and the second from Germany, from the form's original masters.
3. David Bowie: Space Oddity
Well, it's a classic, pure and simple.
2. Jean Michel Jarre: Last Rendez-Vous (Ron's Piece)
This was written by Jarre to be the first piece of music played in space, by sax playing astronaut Ron McNair. He never got to record his part, which he planned to do during the Space Shuttle Challenger's 10th mission, leading to the track being renamed in his honour.
1. Lemon Jelly: Space Walk
This is very cool. Samples from a proper space walk (I assume) over a nice mellow piece of, yes, electronica, infused with a touch of guitar. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Now take your protein pills and put your helmet on, it's time to continue the tour:
Brandon Barr Jim Black Justin Boyer Keanan Brand Gina Burgess Canadianladybug Melissa Carswell Valerie Comer Karri Compton Amy Cruson CSFF Blog Tour Stacey Dale D. G. D. Davidson Jeff Draper April Erwin Karina Fabian Linda Gilmore Beth Goddard Todd Michael Greene Katie Hart Ryan Heart Becky Jesse Cris Jesse Jason Joyner Julie Carol Keen Krystine Kercher Dawn King Melissa Meeks Rebecca LuElla Miller Mirtika Eve Nielsen Nissa John W. Otte Lyn Perry Steve Rice Chawna Schroeder James Somers Speculative Faith Stephanie Rachel Starr Thomson Steve Trower Fred Warren Dona Watson Elizabeth Williams

CSFF Blog Tour: Offworld by Robin Parrish

This month, the CSFF Blog Tour will be featuring Offworld, by Robin Parrish.

Here's the blurb from the author's website:

Christopher Burke and his crew of NASA astronauts are the first human beings to walk on the surface of Mars. Their return to Earth was supposed to be a momentous day. But a surprise is waiting for them there that's beyond imagining.

Safe after a treacherous landing in Florida, the crew emerges to find the unthinkable: every man, woman, child, and animal has vanished without a trace.

It's not a dream.

It's not a trick.

It's real.

Alone now on their home planet, the crew sets out to discover the extraordinary secret behind the disappearance of mankind. And whether or not everyone can be brought back.

But they may not be as alone as they thought.

Now if I didn't know better, I'd say that astronauts on a mission to Mars in the year 2033 suggested that this may be a science fiction novel...

Lost meets the Rapture meets any number of sf tales in which a small band of people find everything they knew gone or changed beyond all recognition.

Robin Parrish appeared in the CSFF Blog Tour a couple of years ago, where I reviewed Relentless, the first volume of his surprisingly religion-free Christian superhero series the Dominion Trilogy. I will be interested to see, when I finish reading Offworld, if the same low-key approach to spiritual elements has been taken (early indications are that it has) and how that works for me, because, as I mentioned in previous Parrish reviews, I like a bit more Christ in my Christian fiction.

While I get on with reading that, please tour the deserted blogosphere with your band of wandering survivors:
Brandon Barr Jim Black Justin Boyer Keanan Brand Gina Burgess Canadianladybug Melissa Carswell Valerie Comer Karri Compton Amy Cruson CSFF Blog Tour Stacey Dale D. G. D. Davidson Jeff Draper April Erwin Karina Fabian Linda Gilmore Beth Goddard Todd Michael Greene Katie Hart Ryan Heart Becky Jesse Cris Jesse Jason Joyner Julie Carol Keen Krystine Kercher Dawn King Melissa Meeks Rebecca LuElla Miller Mirtika Eve Nielsen Nissa John W. Otte Lyn Perry Steve Rice Chawna Schroeder James Somers Speculative Faith Stephanie Rachel Starr Thomson Steve Trower Fred Warren Dona Watson Elizabeth Williams

Podcasserole

I'm still lagging behind a little in my podcast listening since my cheap and nasty mp3 player imploded a while back, but there's a few things out in the podosphere at the moment worth mentioning here.

First, Adventures in Scifi Publishing is back in production! Yaaay! The first post-hiatus episode features Greg van Eekhout, who having had short fiction published in all the big sf zines, narrated on Escape Pod, and nominated for a Nebula award, has just published his first novel. Norse Code - for that is what it's called - is the tale of Ragnarök happening in contemporary Los Angeles. Yep, that's right, a Viking Left Behind! A Mr van Eekhout hasn't taken it that seriously, it sounds like it could be fun. If you have three minutes to spare, check out his story Taco on Escape Pod too.

On the subject of Escape Pod: The Legend of St Ignatz. This is a nice, slightly dark, story of Catholicism spread across a universe populated not only by humanoids but insectoids, squidoids, and quite possibly super-intelligent shades of the colour blue. A universe which has birthed the Sirius Heresy, which holds that 'Homo Sapiens was too weak in body and corrupt in mind for its form to harbor the Son of God'. (Discuss.) Well worth a listen, or if you'd prefer, a read on ideomancer.

And finally, everybody's favourite Geekette Mur Lafferty is in the process of putting out Season Five of her contemporary fantasy audiobook series Heaven. I'm planning to dig in to the earlier seasons again first with a view to reviewing them all here some time. In the meantime, the whole sequence is available at podiobooks.com.

So what are you still doing here? Get clicking!

Friday Review: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Meh.

CSFF Blog Tour vs Tuesday Tunes

This month the CSFF Blog Tour is featuring The Enclave by Karen Hancock, a techno-thriller about cloning and genetic engineering, which can only mean one thing: the Top Ten Genetically Modified Tunes! Tell me when this starts getting old, won't you?

10. Alice Cooper: Clones (We're All)
Not one of Ms Cooper’s better efforts, but it was either this or Same Genes by The View…
9. Blur: Gene by Gene
Blur taking a step away from their Britpop roots here, from 2003's Think Tank.
8. Phonophani: Genetic Engineering
All together now: because every tour needs at least 7 1/2 minutes quality electronica...
7. X-Ray Spex: Genetic Engineering
And, wherever possible, some proper English punk rock!
6. Catatonia: My Selfish Gene
Nice chilled tune from my favourite Welsh band.
5. The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy: Socio-Genetic Experiment
You remember these guys from Television, the Drug of the Nation - no doubt more true now than back in '92...
4. Gene: Olympian
Britpop meets The Smiths, anybody?
3. A Flock of Seagulls: D.N.A.
This is a great piece of New Wave electro-pop. I'm gonna be listening to this stuff for a while now...
2. Ash: Clone
Seriously, turn this one all the way up to eleven!
1. Aardvark Spleen: Gonna Steal Your DNA
I'm not even going to attempt to describe this. No actually, folk-rock with humourour philosophical lyrics about covers it. Anyway, this track seemed appropriate, and beats Ash purely for the band's name.

So once you've finished your little wander through my eclectic offerings, don't forget the blog tour is actually about a book, and continues this way:
Brandon Barr Jennifer Bogart Keanan Brand Grace Bridges Canadianladybug Melissa Carswell Valerie Comer Amy Cruson CSFF Blog Tour Stacey Dale D. G. D. Davidson Janey DeMeo
Jeff Draper Emmalyn Edwards April Erwin Karina Fabian Beth Goddard Todd Michael Greene Heather R. Hunt Becky Jesse Cris Jesse Julie Carol Keen Krystine Kercher Dawn King Mike Lynch Melissa Meeks Rebecca LuElla Miller Mirtika Eve Nielsen Nissa John W. Otte Steve Rice Crista Richey James Somers Speculative Faith Stephanie Rachel Starr Thomson Steve Trower Fred Warren Elizabeth Williams

CSFF Blog Tour - The Enclave

This week the CSFF Blog Tour features The Enclave by Karen Hancock. The Enclave is Karen's sixth (count 'em) novel, following the sci-fi allegory Arena, and the Legends of the Guardian-King fantasy quadrilogy.

Unfortunately (though understandably) the review copies were only available in the US, so I haven't read it yet. However, from what I have managed to glean from the posts on this tour so far and reviews elsewhere, and from the author's website, The Enclave sounds like a thriller novel with some science fiction elements thrown in.

For instance, rather than create a whole new world, the author created a world within a world like ours, having seen the Biosphere 2 project in the news. And where it could have gone really sf is with the theme of cloning, and it's effects on the human soul. There's plenty of real science happening in the field of genetics, waiting to be extrapolated and have spiritual discussion based on; not having read the book, I don't know whether this has been toned down a little so as not to scare off the CBA market, but I can't imagine it being a real hard-sf tome. Anyway, no-one wants to get bogged down in excessive info-dumps and 'As you know Bob' scenes, so I'm going to assume she got the balance right based on the fact that none of the non-sf readers on the tour (that I've read so far at least) have commented on it.

Well I think I've rambled on long enough without saying anything, all that remains is to point you in the direction of your fellow tourists this week:

Brandon Barr Jennifer Bogart Keanan Brand Grace Bridges Canadianladybug Melissa Carswell Valerie Comer Amy Cruson CSFF Blog Tour Stacey Dale D. G. D. Davidson Janey DeMeo
Jeff Draper Emmalyn Edwards April Erwin Karina Fabian Beth Goddard Todd Michael Greene Heather R. Hunt Becky Jesse Cris Jesse Julie Carol Keen Krystine Kercher Dawn King Mike Lynch Melissa Meeks Rebecca LuElla Miller Mirtika Eve Nielsen Nissa John W. Otte Steve Rice Crista Richey James Somers Speculative Faith Stephanie Rachel Starr Thomson Steve Trower Fred Warren Elizabeth Williams