Red Dwarf X: The Beginning

You know the drill by now... this will be spoilerific, so go away if you haven't seen it yet.

And I'll keep it brief, because there's important novelling to be done. I think the most important thing to be said here is that if they never make another episode of Red Dwarf (although all concerned have amply proven they can still do just as good a job as the beeb ever did), at least now it will have ended on a good note.

'The Beginning' was not the non-stop gag fest that 'Trojan' was, although it had more than a few laughs, but it was a superb bit of science fiction in its own way, what with simulant Death Ships looking all 'deathy' and some nice little nods to Star Wars and to earlier Red Dwarf - the first oblique reference to the ending of series eight, and right back to episode one, 'The End'.

Anyway, while all this Death Ship malarky is going on, Rimmer finally decides to play a holographic message from his father, who (massive spoiler) turns out not to be.

And that's when everything changes. Rimmer stops feeling like he has failed his father, stops trying to impress his father by being someone he obviously wasn't meant to be. He realises his father was somebody else, somebody who had entirely different expectations of him and would have been proud of who Arnold Rimmer actually was.

Isn't that what we all need sometimes, to realise who our Father really is, and to think about what He wants and expects from us, how He feels about us even when those around us seem to think we are worthless? Once we know who our Father is, we can begin to get a sense of who we are - and once we start trying to be that person, instead of whoever we think other people want us to be, that's when we can make a difference to the world around us.

And so, armed with a new found sense of self-worth, Arnold Rimmer finally sucks it up, grows a pair and acts like the senior officer on board, managing to save the day in what I at least thought was quite a fun sci-fi way.

And since fun sci-fi is what Red Dwarf has always been about, there could hardly be a better way to end the series. A very satisfying climax to what has, overall, been a return to form for Red Dwarf.

Tuesday Tunes: Red Dwarf Top Ten

As this blog has been on something of a Red Dwarf theme lately, it was kind of inevitable, wasn’t it, that we would get here: The Top Ten Red Dwarf Songs.

10. Vincent Gene – Cat Man
Who knew it was going to start off all rockabilly?

9. Psychonaut – Starbug
I couldn’t not have a tune about Starbug, even if this one is rather longer than strictly necessary. It does change a little in the second half, but you know, just skip ahead when you get the idea.

8. Marc Gunn - The Mining Ship The Red Dwarf
OK, they get the name of the ship slightly wrong, but its an Irish drinking song about the Cat. How can you not love that?

7: Born to Hula – Red Dwarf
Actually has nothing to do with Red Dwarf, but sounds very cool.

6: Disasterpeace – Kitty Cat and Spacey Man
Sounds like it should be the tune from the Mega Drive game of Red Dwarf. Heck, it might be, for all the research I did!

5: Republica – Holly
Indie dance rock tribute to Norman Lovett. Probably.

4: Altered Images – I Could Be Happy
The relevance of this song will not need explaining to Red Dwarf fans, of course.

3: Missing Andy – Dave
We haven’t had a song about Lister yet, so he can have this one. It’s kinda fun, but messes with his backstory a bit…

2: Tom Songs – A Rimmer
This one actually is about that A Rimmer. And it’s pretty good too!

1: Ccada Luge – Red Dwarf
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun. The coolest version of the theme tune I could Spotify at short notice.

Red Dwarf X: Dear Dave

I'm briefly interrupting my NaNo writing to continue the mini-series of Red Dwarf reviews, mainly because this isn't going to take very long.

Dear Dave was not a bad episode, but it didn't have a lot of structure or depth to it. It had a few nice comedy moments, and had the feel of a much earlier episode, Lister being all melancholy about being the last human, Kryten and Cat failing epically to console him while Rimmer is just... Rimmer.

But the trouble was, all the various plot points (such as it could be called a plot) were things that had been done before in earlier episodes. To give realism its due, in 20-odd years with the same three smegheads, conversations are going to be repeated occasionally. Still, taking bits of old storyline and gluing them together with some new jokes didn't really work; the episode needed something a little more meaty than a letter from Lister's ex to hang all the other bits on.

There wasn't much Cat in the episode, but he did, once again, get all the best lines for his trouble. The random reference to the JMC on-board computer (don't they remember Holly?) was a bit odd and disrupted the sense of continuity from earlier Dwarf that the episode otherwise maintained.

Oh, and I quite like the way Red Dwarf has taken Douglas Adams' vending machine nightmares off to a completely different extreme, especially in this episode (although I'm sure nobody in the known multiverse would really try and lift up a vending machine by lying on it and jumping up and down).

On the plus side, the cast are all well in their stride now, so combine that with the (presumably) minimal budget spent on Dear Dave, and given the overall goodness of Red Dwarf X, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a decent finale next week...

Red Dwarf X: Entangled

So, if last week was the low point of Red Dwarf X so far, I think this must be the week we can safely say that yes, the boys from the Dwarf are back on form.

Basically it involves Lister losing a game of poker to some genetically engineered life forms, and relying on a decidedly stupid scientist to save the day. Admittedly, her stupidness did get a little tedious at times, but that's easy to overlook just by considering how awesome some of Cat's lines were.

We're all acutely sorry bud. Apart from me and him and him.

Yes, this was the episode where he really came into his own, partly by virtue of being quantum entangled with Kryten, meaning they delivered some of their lines in perfect synch, much to both characters' surprise.

Lister is at his slobbiest, Rimmer at his most officious (having just reinvented the ship's health and safety rulebook), and Kryten is doing a fine Hitchhikers' Guide homage. All in all, classic Dwarf, and right up there with the moose.

Not really much philosophical discussion to the episode; Kryten and Cat develop a new understanding of the nature of coincidence, and there's a whole space station set up to establish whether two wrongs do in fact make a right.

But we don't need that. Entangled is a high point of Red Dwarf X; let's just hope they can keep the momentum going for the last couple of episodes...

Red Dwarf X: Lemons

Another Friday, another spoilerific Red Dwarf review.... look away now if you don't want to know the result.

Red Dwarf does 'Life of Brian', and ends up with, well, the lemon of the series so far. Now, I'm not the sort to get offended by light-hearted digs at Christianity. I figure Jesus is man enough to take a joke, but I guess there may be those who disagree, and might find the episode in bad taste. (Actually, some of it was in quite bad taste, irrespective of the subject.)

So while I wasn't offended by it, I was disappointed by the lack of originality at times - like resorting to how many wars Christianity has caused. There were some nice one-liners, but on the whole the humour was forced, and I'm not sure setting the thing in India worked in historical terms.

As far as Red Dwarf is concerned, the whole episode had pretty much been done before, often better, in earlier seasons. It does raise some interesting questions though: how many of the ten commandments did God break, and what would Jesus have done if he had known what would later be done in his name, just off the top of my head.

There is, of course, a lot more theological discussion that could be had riffing off this episode, and if anyone cares to comment on any of them, please do. I'm not going to go into any more detail now - maybe once I have the DVD and a chance to watch it more thoughtfully!

One point it did raise, however, and that is worthy of comment, is that Jesus is obviously still fair game for comedy; presumably Doug Naylor wouldn't have risked offending the Muslim population in a similar way...

Final word goes to Lister though, as he said to Jesus:

So some stupid people did some stupid things in your name. It's not your fault. You make a lot of people happy.

Red Dwarf X: Fathers and Suns

OK, maybe Red Dwarf is going to become something of a recurring theme here over the next few weeks, but, well, why not? This review will contain spoilers.

Way back in series VII, thanks to some 'time-travelly, paradoxy, sci-fi smeg', Lister became his own father. In this episode, he realises he hasn't been a great father to himself, and tries to put things right.

It's not up there with the funniest Dwarf episodes ever, but every episode can't be a comedy classic, so that's all fine. A couple of lines could have got in much more obvious directions, which is good. Unfortunately the running gag about Chinese whispers was lame, although I could see something of a nod towards Arthur Dent getting the Nutrimatic Drink Dispensers side-tracked - again, not followed through to the same conclusion as in Hitchhikers. Nothing close to last week's moose gag though.

What we do have is some great science fiction - Lister plays father and son brilliantly, aided by a computer straight out of A Space Odyssey. And those two plot elements combine to give plenty of food for thought, if you want to drag seriousness out of the show. Like: is the mess we made of our lives our own fault, or can we blame our dad? Or to extend that into a Christian worldview, can we blame our heavenly father? And if our Dad is a total bum (or as he might have it, a bum, but not a total bum) how does that affect our view of God as a Father? Does he want to exercise tough love and throw our beloved guitar out of the airlock? Or will he, indeed, throw us out of the airlock if necessary?

And as for Pree, the predicitve computer, well, you could get an essay on free will and predestination out of her, but it's getting late, so I won't.

In summary: Fathers and Suns was a great bit of sci-fi TV, with more laughs than the average Star Trek.

Resentment Drain

First, your obligatory spoiler warning: This will be the spoilerific discussion following Red Dwarf X: Trojan. Stop reading now and go watch the episode first!

In Trojan, a Quantum Rod causes Arnold Rimmer to come into contact with his brother Howard (also now a hologram), a prospect which stirs up the millenia-old resentment Rimmer feels for his better looking, more successful brothers. This resentment manifests itself in the form of self-created malware which overloads his brain and crashes his light bee.

In order to reinstate Rimmer, Kryten performs a resentment drain, after which we get a momentary glimpse of a more pleasant Rimmer, when he realises that competing with his brother won't make him happy.

This better Rimmer is, of course, expanded upon in the character of Ace Rimmer elsewhere in the Red Dwarf multiverse, but for the sake of the plot the old, bitter Arnold Rimmer soon returns. For a moment though, we (and Arnold) see what he could be if he would just man up and forgive his brothers for the perceived wrong they have done toward him; and a perceived wrong is exactly what it turns out to be, when Howard is also affected by a resentment overload, caused by his jealousy of Arnold's (albeit faked) success.

Unlike his brother, however, Howard's change seems to go deeper, to the extent that he willingly takes a bullet for Arnold, and then makes a deathbed confession that he is, in fact, just a vending machine repair man.

And when it comes right down to it, isn't that all any of us are? We are all flawed, imperfect human beings; and we should all be open to the possibility that we are somebody's Howard. We may not be able to do anything about our Arnold, but we can make a start by letting go of our own resentments. By forgiving our Howards, and being honest about our own faults, we can receive a resentment drain and be released from the burden of bitterness.

And who knows, we may even discover our inner Ace. Smoke me a kipper...

Red Dwarf X: Trojan

Ah, Red Dwarf. I’ve always been a bit of a Red Dwarf geek. I won’t go into the whole back-story right now, you’ve got google for that, but I will share a few thoughts about the first episode, Trojan.

Following Dave’s resurrection of the show in the rather disappointing Back to Earth mini-series a few years ago, they have returned to the show’s sitcom roots, studio audience and all, and in doing so some of the old magic that was missing in BTE was back.

Rimmer was back to his snivelling best (and gurning like a pro), there was some great random banter between Lister and the Cat, and Kryten was… a bit fatter than he used to be, but basically the same old Krytie. No sign of Kochanski, thankfully; a woman’s touch about the Dwarf was ok as a one-off joke, but the chemistry between the four guys was always at the heart of the show. Also no sign of Holly so far, but we’ll see what comes of that later in the series.

One of the great things about Red Dwarf was that it was always a science fiction series rather than just a sitcom set in space. It used proper sci-fi ideas, and those were back here too.

In the past the boys from the dwarf were often off exploring some long abandoned spaceship, and this week’s example, the Trojan, was powered by a quantum rod, which used the power of quantum entanglement to effectively contract space-time.

It was, in some ways, an episode of two halves, I thought: the first half was the funny half, moose jokes and the like, while the second half dealt with the serious stuff, the science and the philosophy. Yes, you could even get a meaningful conversation started out of this episode if you wanted to - as long as you could stop making moose jokes.

Sure, there were plot-holes if you were that bothered, the continuity from series 8 still remains a total mystery (possibly best to just pretend Red Dwarf X follows straight on from series 6 or 7 anyway), and I'm not sure what I make of the new Red Dwarf set yet...

But, based on the first episode, I think Red Dwarf X looks like being a return to form in terms of humour, chemistry, and science-fiction. And, naturally, the DVD set is on my Christmas list already.

Badly thought out Despair of the Week

I wasn't going to make a habit of this, but I saw this video on geekologie.com and, honestly, it was too good (ie bad) to ignore. It's straight out of the '90s, when Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Vanilla Ice (apparently) were at the peak of their powers, and is a prime example of Christians sticking their beards into what other people's children should or should not be watching on TV and getting for Christmas.

They do make one good point in the course of the video, but I'm not convinced the Mickey Mouse comic with the ouija board in was contemporary with the rest of the stuff.

I suspect it's been cut to make them look even more stupid than they would otherwise -

What's the problem with this guy [Vanilla Ice]?
MC Hammer is certainly not a role model we as Christians should emulate, though he claims to be a Christian.

Actually, the thought of these guys doing the Hammer dance, I think he may have a point after all. Although I'm still curious as to what the problem with Vanilla Ice actually was.

Anyway, my point, besides ruthlessly mocking these muppets, is that this kind of thing actually happens in real life - Christians decrying things they have only a passing knowledge of, like the Harry Potter phenomenon (which must have made these guys' heads explode) that many condemned on the basis of what Mavis said about it after church last week.

I have no problem with people having a genuine problem with the way some stuff is marketed these days - the fact that you can pick up Playboy branded stationary on the High Street, blatantly aimed at the average schoolgirl, is a bit of a worry - but you might at least try watching these things before telling us all why they're evil.

What I have a problem with is people like these, who (a) make Christians out to be a bunch of opinionated killjoys; (b) seem to think children can't tell the difference between an animated pizza-eating reptile and real life; and (c) are probably so wrapped up in seeing the devil behind every successful TV franchise that they've completely missed the real problems in the world.

Next week: I attempt to stop ranting and get this blog back on topic - tune in to see if I succeed!

Daily Mail Despair of the Week

Apparently, Peppa Pig is a bad influence on children. According to the Daily Mail:

One father spoke of his despair at how his four-year-old son had taken to splashing in what he gleefully called ‘muddy puddles’ on his way to school - copying Peppa's favourite pastime.

I wish I lived in a world where that was the biggest problem facing society. Kids are being forced to grow up too quickly anyway these days, without causing despair or having their favourite TV characters banned for, um, being children!

Let's get a few things straight to start with:

1. Peppa always puts her wellies on before jumping up and down in those muddy puddles (don't get me started on the fact that she's a pig)
2. Puddle jumping is often enjoyed as a fun activity for the whole family. Heaven forbid.
3. Out in the fresh air, no less. 
4. George may ask for chocolate cake for breakfast, but to my knowledge he never gets it. 
5. One episode even gives a handy tutorial in making salad more appealing to kids by forming it into the shape of a dinosaur. 
6. I've given this far too much thought haven't I? 
7. Peppa is a pig. 

Maybe I have given this too much thought, but seriously? A kid jumps in a puddle or asks for chocolate instead of broccoli and all you can do is lash out at a cartoon pig?

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying we should let our kids have chocolate cake for breakfast, but experience tells me that if we don't let our children have small amounts of chocolate cake under close supervision, they will end up binge-eating it down the park with those unruly kids from the next street. 

And it never stops with chocolate cake. Oh no, it will soon progress to Mississippi Mud Pie and Black Forest Gateaux, and before you know it they'll be hopped up on a cocktail of banoffee pie and treacle sponge, indulging in wild, cake-fuelled orgies of unashamed muddy puddle-jumping.

Surely we, as parents, have a duty to educate our children, to show them that things like cake - and cartoons - can be highly enjoyable, in the right context. 

I mean come on, everyone loves jumping up and down in muddy puddles! 

Enjoy Peppa Pig responsibly 

For the facts about excessive cake consumption visit www.cakeaware.co.uk 

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article... meh.

Spam and muppets

I always knew this. That's why I wrote Countless as the Stars. But now the nice science & sci-fi gurus at io9.com have said it too, so it's about as official as it's going to get (probably):

Adding 'in space' to anything makes it better!

A case in point:

+

=

So there you go. Um, not to say that Countless as the Stars is actually better than the original... oh dear, ever wish you'd never started down a train of thought?

Still, there's time to get part one of The Bible: In Space (at least, if you live in the UK) before Christmas and make up your own minds ;)

It makes a great gift too.

Shall we talk about Doctor Who?

Yes, ok, my planned return toregular-ish blogging stalled, but we're here now, and it seems we might as well at least mention that Doctor Who cliffhanger which is busy dividing opinion across the blogosphere.

I liked it. Well, not the cliffhanger so much, because that was pretty lame and 'oh, well that's alright then, nobody's going to die horrily over the summer'. But the episode, as a whole, was pretty fun. I mean yes, you might ask how the Doctor came to be owed a favour by the Judoon, and why he's best friends with Vastra, the Victurian Silurian, but that would spoil the fun. You could also ask why the para-military church types guys didn't just shoot a squillion holes in the Doctor's two hearts while they had all those guns pointed at him, but, that would just cause the entire story to disappear into a plot hole, and nobody wants that.

But Doctor Who has never taken itself that seriously, and even now, as it seems to be taking a somewhat darker turn, we probably shouldn't start over-analysing it. It was a fun story, with a few flaws, but bucket loads of action, lots of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey nonsense, plenty of bad guys, and a slight cliffhanger. Oh yes, and River Song becomes slightly less of an enigma, so it will be interesting to see where that goes next.

I don't know if I've said this before, but I like a character with a dark side, and I'm looking forward to seeing a little more darkness from Eleven - a little more of the violence that the Doctor always had in him before the Last Great Time War (after which it seems Nine and Ten took to pacifism and a moody kind of darkness in an attempt to redeem themselves for 'destroying' the Daleks and the Time Lords).

Bow ties are definitely cool.

Fish Custard

Somewhere on teh intarwebs, someone must have drawn a comparison between the Eleventh Doctor and his first post-regeneration meal. Something like how all the ingredients are great, but please, not all together! Only that doesn't work, because Eleven and Amy Pond seem to work well together. It's a little early to tell, of course, what with the Doctor still cooking and everything, but, well, the first episode with the new Doctor didn't suck.

And that is as far as I'm going to go on the subject at this point; I mean, I can't criticize too much a show with a Hitch-hikers homage and a real Mini in it, and I've read/heard too much of 'the assistant is too sexy' or 'the Doctor isn't sexy enough' to be bothered joining in, even on a more intelligent level. Oh OK, I'll join in a bit: she's alright for a redhead, but seriously, have you people not seen Billie?

Um, anyway..... I'm not too keen on the new opening credits, but that's incidental. If the opening episode is any indication, it seems the new team have got a good balance between scary and funny, and between fish and custard for that matter, and as long as Eleven turns out to be a half decent incarnation and the whole thing doesn't descend into a horrible teen drama in spacetime as the younger cast might suggest (oh dear, I came across prematurely middle-aged there, I do apologise. You know you're getting old when the Doctors are getting younger, etc. etc.)

I'll cast judgement on the new Doctor properly next week, once he's properly cooked. For now there's not much else to say, I'll just hit publish before I have that crisis of confidence that I miscounted and we're on Twelve now, or Ten....

Reading, writing, etc for 2010

So, assuming this here blog takes off again, we are at least going to have a few reviews in due course; currently in the holding pattern are most of the sci-fi books featured in the CSFF Blog Tour over the last year or so, among others - these might take a while to filter through the system though, as at my current pace I have enough of Neal Stephenson's Anathem to keep me going until some time in May. Thereafter, in no particular order, my reading list consists of:

Also, when my Sky+ box stops being full of Lost, Fringe, Heroes, Sanctuary, Stargate Universe, Caprica and (soon) Doctor Who, the Red Dwarf Bodysnatcher collection is waiting for a few nights when the DVD player is feeling co-operative.

As far as writing goes, well, I have a few interesting short story ideas to play with, and then I think I'm going to adopt the NaNoWriMo approach for my next big project, as that at least seems to get things finished for me. No time limit, no wordage goals, but the same gung-ho approach to writing, just dive in, and keep going forwards, no looking back, and absolutely no editing until a climax of sorts is on the page. Again, no particular order, but I'll probably start on one of my existing works in progress:

1. A cyberspace allegory, shelved because it seemed a bit cheesy, and extremely derivative as soon as The Matrix arrived;
2. An epic time travel story reaching back to Christ's life on Earth. If I have an 'opus magnum', I guess this would be it;
3. An alternate history of WW2, currently waiting until either (a) I come up with an unusual enough angle, or (b) I become famous enough ;) for this to stand out among the countless books already written in this genre/time period;
4. I have always wondered what happened after the end of The Italian Job (the real one, you know, the one in Italy) and have toyed with a novelisation of the movie and/or a sequel (not a remake, or an homage, or the flippin' Brazilian Job);
5. The repeatedly delayed non-sf 'Project Seven'
   

And alongside these I might find time to cut the excess wordage from my two completed Nanos, Children of the Stars (2008), the sequel to Countless as the Stars; and DragonQuest (2009), one of several comic fantasies that have at least been started.

Um, do I actually have time to blog?

Friday Review: Paradox

Paradox, for the uninitiated, is Auntie Beeb's latest off-the-wall time travelling Mancunian cop show. Sort of. The paradox is, in fact, that despite being utterly rubbish in any way that matters, Paradox is great telly.

Much has been said about the stereotypical nature of the main characters: the tough, career focused female Inspector; the rebellious, sceptical-unless-it-suits-him-not-to-be one (who just happens to have been sharing the Inspector’s bed to boot); the Christian one who, obviously, is prepared to believe anything he can vaguely attribute to God; the mad scientist of the slightly sinister, wouldn’t-like-to-meet-him-in-a-castle-dungeon variety; and of course the usual cast of extras headed inexorably toward the unfortunate demise our heroes can see coming. So I won’t dwell on them any longer.

More interesting is the Paradox, that which our heroes are called upon to believe, whether they like it or not. Essentially, some entity or mechanism is sending images of a crime to the mad scientist a few hours before it occurs. Our heroes have to figure out what the images represent, and from that where and how the incident occurs in time to, hopefully, stop it. All of which is of course as ludicrous as it sounds, but surprisingly good edge of the seat telly if you’re prepared to ignore the bit of your brain that says ‘that wouldn’t happen’. And since we’re all sci-fi fans here, that part of our brain is pretty much permanently bypassed anyway.

On the other hand, if you do stop and think about it – and it seems the writer has, at least briefly – there is plenty of existential philosophising to be done. For instance, the rebellious, sceptical one, having discovered that he should have died in episode two, is given to wonder whether, given that there are an infinite number of him in all these parallel universes, it matters a dingo's kidney what he does here, and proceeds to become more rebellious and reckless.
Meanwhile the Christian one first has his faith challenged, then decides that God is giving him a message through the images and turns into a slightly sinister and stalkery guardian angel.
Apart from such philosophical meanderings - and the more obvious questions of who and where these images are coming from, not to mention how and why - two things occur to me which may come as close to being the point of this ramble as anything.

First, the images from the future are snapshots, glimpses, not the whole story, but enough to guide our heroes in the right direction, provided they can interpret them correctly and quickly enough. All of which parallels the kind of vague-but-obvious-with-hindsight way that we so often perceive God as using to communicate with us. (Well, that could just be me, but still, that’s the point I’m going to leave for more theologically inclined bloggers to dissect.)

The second thing that occurs to me (and I’m sure has occurred to many working in the Christian fiction field) is what if, rather than a mad scientist, these images were received by a religious nutter? A street corner prophet manages to foretell a gruesome murder on his patch, for instance? How would the authorities react if they head about this? What would become of the prophet? In fact, throwing prophecy in to any kind of time travel related scenario give it a little spiritual twist which, followed up in a suitably unusual way, could end up in some good Christian sci-fi.

And with that, the blog seems to have finally returned to its intended course…

What have they done to Torchwood?

Well, first, they promoted it to BBC1, which may or may not be a bad idea for a mediocre little Doctor Who spin-off that started out on digital TV a couple of years ago.

Second, they cut the series length from 13 episodes to 5, making up one big story (like they used to with Doctor Who - complete with cliffhangers!). It remains to be seen whether the story has the legs for a five-hour mini-series, but so far it's nice to have the cliffhangers back.

The they put the whole thing out on consecutive nights, because of course sci-fi fans don't go out of an evening. Interesting choice, but in these days of Sky+ boxes, largely irrelevant (provided you can avoid reading spoilers on twinternet).

And then, just to top it all off, they went and made it good. I mean, witty one-liners, fast paced action, intrigue, mad plot twists and even madder telehandler-based scenes... this isn't the Torchwood we all know and, um.. go 'meh' about, is it? Admittedly there has been some brief nudity and Ianto's wierdness about being a couple with Jack, but on the whole everybody's libido seems to have been turned down to a more sensible level. In such a world, almost anything can happen... although, I have to admit, the extent of Jack's immortality is beginning to stretch credibility somewhat.

I'm not going to go into more detail than that; there will be plenty of reviews online if you need one. All I'm saying is that on the whole, I was pleasantly surprised. If you'd written Torchwood off as a waste of valuable TV time, it might be time to give it another chance.

Stupid movie idea of the year

Yes, you've all probably heard it already, but I just want to add my voice to those saying what an utterly bonkers idea it is trying to make a new Buffy movie.

The original movie was pants. The fact that it spawned one of the best TV shows of the 90s shows that while the idea was undoubtedly good (witness the amount of sub-Buffy pretenders to have appeared since), it was the way the cast worked together, and the brilliant writing (is Buffyism in the dictionary yet?) that made it the phenomenon it was. (When was the last time you saw the name Sarah Michelle Gellar in a tabloid article without being prefaced by the words 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer star'?)

If Fran Rubel Kuzui can get a cast, and writers, that good, there should be no need to bring Buffy back from the dead (again, poor girl!). If not, well, why drag Buffy's good name back to the Hollywood mediocrity from whence it rose?

And as for doing the whole thing without a link to the show, or involving Joss Whedon... I refer to my previous comment about mediocrity.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, they want to reinvent Ghostbusters too... but at least having the Pete, Ray and Egon there to hand over to Eliza Dushku (am I right in thinking Dollhouse is just a big Dusku fetishist's paradise?)

And isn't it annoying when bloggers who pretend they can write keep starting sentences with 'and'?

Ok, rant over. Thank you for your time.

Back to Earth

Depending on your point of view, it’s either about a month or several years past time this blog glanced in the direction of Red Dwarf. So that’s what I’m going to do now, starting with the 2009 mini-series Red Dwarf: Back to Earth.

In summary, it was a victim of it’s own hype (and, having blogged about it before the event, I guess I’m partly responsible for that). Had it met slipped quietly onto the Bank Holiday schedule of an obscure little digital channel, I have no doubt dwarfers the world over would have rejoiced. Obviously that would not have been possible, but the sheer volume of pre-event publicity it got made it a huge task for the show to live up to the expectations of fans. And, regrettably, it largely didn’t.

It was good to see the crew, and their bunk room banter, back just as we remember them. Holly was missed though, and the addition of second hologram Katerina Bartikovsky to provide scientific expertise and eye candy was a rubbish and largely pointless replacement.

It would be easy to criticise the plot – and many pundits have done so at length – but to be fair, there were some LOL moments. Not as many as I would have liked, but not every episode of Red Dwarf was a laugh riot. And I quite enjoyed the meta-fictional existentialism of the thing, although the self-references and the Blade Runner homage verged on being overdone.

What I really want to know, however – what happened after the end of series 8 – remains a mystery, explained in passing references to the successful series 9 and 10 of Red Dwarf…

The plot is basically lifted from the original episode Back to Reality, and given a bit of a twist. That’s not a bad thing, as Back to Reality was one of my favourite episodes, and the new twist was an interesting and amusing one, but still, a little more originality might not have gone amiss. I mean, I wouldn’t have been surprised to have read this story as a piece of fanfic, rather than the work of one of the show’s creators.

More thoughts on Back to Earth, and Red Dwarf in general, later...

Planet of the Dead

OK, so, as a nod towards science fiction, there's just time tonight for a quick look back at the Easter Doctor Who special, Planet of the Dead.

It's gonna be quick, because, well, it wasn't particularly deep. There won't be any big life issues commented on or spiritual truths dug out of this one. Not by me, at least.

That's not to say it wasn't good, because, well, ok, maybe I'm just a bit biased because it's Doctor Who, but it was a fun stuck-on-a-distant-planet-with-the-monster-of-the-week romp. It had Lee Evans as a UNIT scientist with a Doctor Who fetish (although the whole Unit-as-simpering-fanboys thing does run the risk of wearing thin if they overdo it). It had Michelle Ryan playing a sidekick who seemed vaguely familiar. It even had a London bus stuck on the far side of the galaxy, where the good Doctor borrowed a deus ex machina from some giant flies and flew the whole thing through a wormhole. I know, it all just sounds too mad to work, and I don't suppose it would outside of Doctor Who.

And that, simply, is why Doctor Who is the best thing on TV, ever. Well, it is today anyway.

I look like a dog with a caramel toffee

Yes, I am feeling ambivalent about the imminent return of Red Dwarf. Yes, I'm excited; I mean, this is Red Dwarf we're talking about, and we haven't seen a new episode for 10 years, as hard as that is for me to believe. Lister, Kryten and the Cat are back; Rimmer has an 'H' on his head, and Kochanski is nowhere to be seen. All would seem to be good in the Dwarfiverse. Well, except for the absence of Holly, but we'll get along without him (or her), I'm sure.

At the same time though, I live in fear that sombody is going to ruin my fond memories. I mean, this is Red Dwarf we're talking about here. I remember rushing home the night it debuted, just to see if it was any good (comedy sf up to that time pretty much consisted of Hitchhiker's and Spaceballs, as I recall). That was a couple of weeks before I turned 14; the last season aired the year I got married, so Red Dwarf covers a pretty important and character defining part of my life. (That's not to say Dave Lister is any more important than Mrs UKSteve, oh, no!)

But messing with important stuff like that is bad. It's like reinventing a motoring icon and turning it into a ridiculous overweight parody of the original. Please, Dave, don't let that happen to the Dwarf!

And returning to Earth - this is a departure from everything the series was meant to be - one man, stuck at the far side of the galaxy with a senile computer and a hologram of his dead bunkmate...

On the other hand, Series 8 was about as far removed from that as it's possible to get, what with the entire crew coming back, Rimmer not being a hologram, and Holly still having the same IQ as 6000 PE teachers... it can't get much worse than that, surely?

And of course, Doctor Who turned out alright, didn't it? Even (especially?) after the all new Doc quit after one season. And if Red Dwarf goes pear-shaped, at least I know the good Doctor will be waiting on a desert planet with nothing but the Bionic Woman and a London bus for company.

Who knew Easter would turn out to be about sci-fi?